In which I lose my sanity and learn to stop bragging about it

Inevitably, any true recounting of my journey must touch the subject of my inner, psychological ‘health’. Or, at least, how that has been evaluated or perceived by others.

For context: I didn’t grow up in a ‘spiritual’ home. My family were high-functioning multi-generational capitalists. They took us to church as a weekly social function. They made reference to a ‘god’, but the concept was loosely defined at best; a work ethic was the ticket to heaven. The word ‘soul’ was used from time-to-time in reference to something I possessed, but without any specific guide or instruction manual for its operation. 

But any unseen – spiritual – agents or forces inhabiting some adjacent, metaphysical layer, those were relegated to fairy tales. So I had no instinct to seek other cosmologies than the standard Judeo-Christian lite version most of us knew.

But I did develop a love for ‘alternate states’ pretty early on. By 13, I had discovered the gold-stamp Moroccan hash that was available in Montreal that, combined with music, was revelatory. By 16, I was doing LSD with a close group of friends, but never with the awareness of its power to materialize the hidden matrices that our elder psychonauts were experiencing.

But at some point in my mid-20s, I crossed into a territory that opened me up to a blast of extra-dimensional connectivity.  What started as a series of seemingly random, unsolicited encounters with books, ideas, people, and mind-fucking phenomena very quickly became concretized around a very specific message that I felt was being communicated to me. 

Simply put: you are living in a world shrouded in a deception that obfuscates the true nature of ‘reality’ and the mechanics for realizing your true human potential.

This was posed as a kind of liberationist cosmology, channeled to me by an extra-dimensional intelligence that uses the world as a giant ouija board, spelling out its messages through the most poetic and nuanced symbology and coincidence.

Narratively:

I was a somnambulent prisoner in some highly-fortressed domain, and there was a presence on the outside sending me messages about how to escape the prison constructed by our unconscious projection.

[I should add, this all started 7 years before The Matrix, and a decade before I first read Plato’s Cave.]

It also happened in conjunction with the Channel Zero project, which seemed to only get better resourced and hyped the more I bought into the directives of my ‘guides’. And I very quickly began to associate my very terrestrial global media activism with the work of waking people up to our cosmic condition. Which, unfortunately, included members of the Toronto media, who roasted me deservedly for my naive admissions.

The Globe and Mail | December 24, 2004

And while the wordly authority did everything in its power to shame me out of these ideas and their embodiment, I learned to shut up about what I was experiencing and focus on a personal practice of the cosmology, which now spans a half-life of private acts and their paradigm-busting revelations, much of which I have begun to codify in my writing about quantum society

Of course, it turns out this is a well-trodden and anciently-codified path to an “awakening”, of some sort. For reference to this mystical template, here is a link to my Plato’s Cave think piece.

Now that that is out of the way! I think it’s time I started writing more about my practical excursions into the mystical realm now that I have had a chance to document the philosophical and cosmological frameworks that have been the fruit of those… explorations.

More to come.

One comment

  1. Emily

    Absolutely-the deeper you go into your dharma or soul purpose is where you will find true enlightenment from within. the story Thr Razor’s Edge exemplifies this point. I refer to God as Krishna but God has many names. He is found the deeper you dig in completing your souls purpose on this earth and this is why everyone needs to follow their hearts so true meaning and true joy is found when you are walking on a Razors Edge which you are doing my friend.

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