Inevitably, any true recounting of my journey must touch the subject of my inner, psychological ‘health’. Or, at least, how that has been evaluated or perceived by others.
For context: I didn’t grow up in a ‘spiritual’ home. My family were high-functioning multi-generational capitalists. They took us to church as a weekly social function. They made reference to a ‘god’, but the concept was loosely defined at best; a work ethic was the ticket to heaven. The word ‘soul’ was used from time-to-time in reference to something I possessed, but without any specific guide or instruction manual for its operation.
But any unseen – spiritual – agents or forces inhabiting some adjacent, metaphysical layer, those were relegated to fairy tales. So I had no instinct to seek other cosmologies than the standard Judeo-Christian lite version most of us knew.
But I did develop a love for ‘alternate states’ pretty early on. By 13, I had discovered the gold-stamp Moroccan hash that was available in Montreal that, combined with music, was revelatory. By 16, I was doing LSD with a close group of friends, but never with the awareness of its power to materialize the hidden matrices that our elder psychonauts were experiencing.
But at some point in my mid-20s, I crossed into a territory that opened me up to a blast of extra-dimensional connectivity. What started as a series of seemingly random, unsolicited encounters with books, ideas, people, and mind-fucking phenomena very quickly became concretized around a very specific message that I felt was being communicated to me.
Simply put: you are living in a world shrouded in a deception that obfuscates the true nature of ‘reality’ and the mechanics for realizing your true human potential.
This was posed as a kind of liberationist cosmology, channeled to me by an extra-dimensional intelligence that uses the world as a giant ouija board, spelling out its messages through the most poetic and nuanced symbology and coincidence.
[I should add, this all started 7 years before The Matrix, and a decade before I first read Plato’s Cave.]
It also happened in conjunction with the Channel Zero project, which seemed to only get better resourced and hyped the more I bought into the directives of my ‘guides’. And I very quickly began to associate my very terrestrial global media activism with the work of waking people up to our cosmic condition. Which, unfortunately, included members of the Toronto media, who roasted me deservedly for my naive admissions.
And while the wordly authority did everything in its power to shame me out of these ideas and their embodiment, I learned to shut up about what I was experiencing and focus on a personal practice of the cosmology, which now spans a half-life of private acts and their paradigm-busting revelations, much of which I have begun to codify in my writing about quantum society.
Of course, it turns out this is a well-trodden and anciently-codified path to an “awakening”, of some sort. For reference to this mystical template, here is a link to my Plato’s Cave think piece.
Now that that is out of the way! I think it’s time I started writing more about my practical excursions into the mystical realm now that I have had a chance to document the philosophical and cosmological frameworks that have been the fruit of those… explorations.
More to come.
When I was a very young child, I experienced a physical/sexual trauma that, though I did not know it until I was well into my 20s, locked me into a reactive mode of being (and an adversarial perception of the external world) that was very destructive and, seemingly, unalterable. Drug abuse, chronic failed relationships, recurring bi-polar episodes. A kind of strange loop that always returned me to the same wounds, the same defeats, the same feeling of powerlessness over my life.
But the purpose of this admission is not pity.
Because, being born into the privileged family of white Canadians, I was able to exercise a relatively high degree of agency and self-determination despite this very powerful seminal trauma. This is evidenced in the formal education and career I have had, and the freedom with which I have been able to traverse the planet and its various societies and sub-cultures. And it is for this last blessing I am most grateful.
Suffice it to say, I have always found most comfort, and mentorship, with the outcasts and the heretics who I found when all appeared to be lost.
At some point along the way, a part of my self began to awaken to a source of healing and power that was not part of the traditional, conventional psychotherapeutic modalities. In mind-bending ways, I was oriented toward a ‘mechanism’ I could access in order to transform and unlock my present and my future, by visiting and altering my past. Essentially, breaking out of the false construction of linear time that we have been inducted into for millennia (by the Temporal Authority).
It has been a very gradual process, as I have had to learn a lot on my own, stumbling and bumbling into the matrix of ephemeral levers that operate my spacetime voyager. And I am here to tell you that it is real and that it works. But I would never have found it if I hadn’t been locked in some fortress of predetermination by an event that I neither asked for nor deserved.
I can’t possibly begin to describe the long slow peeling back of the layers of a cosmic onion that led me first to experience, and then to understand, what I now know as the liberationist instrument that is the quantum field.
That’s the term we use for it now. Even though it has (of course) always existed — and been understood — by those that the Authority marginalized and exiled or executed by calling them shamans and mystics and witches.
If science was capable of it, there would be a kind of collective embarrassment in the awareness that they have only just breached the (r)evolutionary implications of what certain people have known about for millennia.
Or as Hagrid tells Harry Potter on their first trip to Diagon Alley.
“I don’t know how the Muggles manage without magic.”
For the past five years, in a very quiet little blog, I have been struggling to explain the power of quantum as a source of political and social liberation. And that is only because, as someone who was massively damaged and totally unhelped by any of the therapeutic modalities, when I actually, verifiably experienced the shift in my present by reconditioning my perception of and experience of the past, I simply could not stay quiet.
I guess I have always felt that heretics and mystics are brand strategists for the civilization. And that it is their job to use poetry to engineer cognitive and behavioral shifts that have the potential to redefine the moment… and the future… for the betterment of all.
Because their target market is… the species.
There is perhaps no better a personification of this ideal than the late Irish poet and mystic John O’Donahue. Listening to this interview he did with Krista Tippet, I was scrambling to catch and note the subtle, humble, nuanced bombs he was dropping about the ‘pedagogy of interiority’.
At one point he talks about the word ‘threshold’, which comes from the word thrashen — to separate the grain from the husk. For him, thresholds are lines that separate ‘two territories of spirit,’ and, he continues:
‘if we cross worthily, what we do is heal the patterns of repetition that were in us, that caught us somewhere. And in our crossing… we cross onto new ground. Where we just don’t repeat what we’ve been through in the last place we were.’
This sentiment expresses so succinctly what I have been trying to say about the current moment. We are at a threshold, and a new territory in terms of a paradigm that encircles the human understanding of the nature of reality.
More, as someone who has spent the best years of their life trying to figure out ways to undermine and overthrow the reigning geographic and cosmological empires — and obviously failing — when I discovered the promise of this untapped resource, I felt it was my obligation.
Because the implications of quantum liberationism are not confined to manipulation of spacetime. At its fundamental dimension, quantum offers the promise of a radical degree of self-determination. One that lies at mastering the point of conversion that collapses waves of infinite potential into particles of self-materialization.
But don’t tell scientists that. They’ll say that quantum science has no applications to social science. But that is because they are perfectly happy with the ruling order. They’re not trying to overthrow ‘reality’, they just want to understand it. Which is fine, they should do that.
As far as I am concerned, I have seen enough to understand the reality that we are living in. Especially when we can now essentially pre-determine the social and economic categories that a specific individual will attain based on the zip code they were born into.
That isn’t freedom in an sense of the word. That is a caste system. And we’re not here for that. Not at this point in our civilizational trajectory.
So, for anyone who is actually and actively pursuing the birth of a new paradigm in which every human, no matter where they are born or to what culture or gender gets an equal and fair shot at determining their destiny:
Quantum is the revolution.
I don’t care if it’s theoretical. Given the alternative (which I assume is voting for another political candidate, operating in a political system that is designed to service the interests of the elite), what do we have to lose?
take that to the next level: the cumulative genetic and epigenetic narratives of our ancestral and present-day existences do not actually define who we are, even though this is precisely what the current (materialist) paradigm dictates.
Quantum liberationism heralds the unmaterialized potential which lies at the substratum of wave, which IS the primary realm and determiner of existence and ‘reality’ in 3D.
Or, as Joe Dispenza — the only person out there who is actively testing the science of quantum healing — writes:
Energy is the epiphenomenon of matter.
This is the equivalent of discovering a new territory, one with limitless resources and potential for self-actualization.
Seriously, hold that in your mind for a moment.
Because if a single mom with three kids who works two jobs and barely gets by can shift her dependence from:
A) the hope that the magical invisible hand of the capitalist economy will give her family majesty and power over their destinies
B) mastering the latent and limitless power of reality-creation that lies within an ancient spiritual technology located within each human being.
Then we are onto something that is actually dangerous to those who rule this ghetto paradigm called materialist reductionism.
(Which they do through the illusion of scarcity.)
This is the threshold we crossing now.
Into a new paradigm.
Because, in the quantum liberationist view: there is no such thing as scarcity.
There is only infinite potential.
So, for those of us who are committed to building something new and enduring and fair, we need to frame what it is we are ACTUALLY doing. And if its not re-patterning and re-engineering the paradigm around universal access to equal self-actualization, then its just the perpetuation of the old system and the failure to cross the threshold which we have organically reached as a tipping point for the next evolutionary thrust of human civilization.
I would argue that TRUE POWER resides in gaining access to the generators of reality, which reside and occur at the sub-stratum plane of pre-particle waveforms.
I leave you with a quote that I believe captures the sentiment of this journey I have been on. It’s from Nietzsche (written in 1882):
…And now, after having been long on the way in this fashion, we Argonauts of the ideal, who are more courageous perhaps than prudent, and often enough shipwrecked and brought to grief, nevertheless, healthier than people would like to admit, dangerously healthy, always healthy again. It would seem, as if in recompense for it all, that we have a still undiscovered country before us, the boundaries of which no one has yet seen, a beyond to all countries and corners of the ideal known hitherto, a world so over-rich in the beautiful, the strange, the questionable, the frightful, and the divine, that our curiosity as well as our thirst for possession thereof, have got out of hand alas! That nothing will now any longer satisfy us!”
There is a kind of spiritual warfare that is being waged against the population of the United States.
It is one that herds people through the triggers of their moral and political outrage into adversarial camps that effectively devastate the risk that a united population poses to an economic elite who are now effectively governing a neo-caste system disguised as a free market economy.
In metaphysical circles, this is known as “stalking” and it is being orchestrated by masterful forces who cynically view hot-button issues like BLM, MAGA, COVID policies, gender equality as programmable binary levers that essentially keep people locked into predetermined (adversarial) behavioral modes.
The perfect example of this was the 2020 election — in which ‘good’ progressives were effectively terrorized into choosing between a lesser-evil (false) dichotomy — that elevated the wildly insubstantial candidacy of Joe Biden into the election of yet another longtime military-industrial complex proxy who understands his role is to contain the upstart masses on behalf of the elite class.
All at a time in which the civilizational tide is clearly being drawn out for what looks to be a crushing and monumental wave of counter-cultural, anti-establishment activity.
In one of his lesser-known illuminations, Alan Watts identified this phenomenon and offered the answer to its pernicious societal manipulation — as he did for so many of our modern socio-political entrapments — as rooted in the most ancient of iconographies.
Continuing my series on Watts’ more heretical contributions to spiritual and political awakening, I am not sure there is an any more relevant or precise admonition from the sage which so many love to quote — but perhaps less are able to authentically apply — than the one was issued under the title, Seeing Through the Game.
It is by far one of Watts’ most subversive, and will be the most challenging for those who have dug in to the ‘high ground’ with all their might.
Just take in the first sentence.
Obviously no society can tolerate within its own borders the existence of a way of liberation, a way of seeing through its institutions without feeling that such a way constitutes a threat to law and order.
I mean really take it in. Because our first instinct in this Rorschach universe we inhabit, is to immediately imagine that WE are the way of liberation, operating outside of ‘society’, being the harbingers of a new way. But let me tell you on behalf of Watts himself, that as long as we are still buying in to the idea of an ‘us’ and a ‘them’, we are being cowed and stalked and defeated.
Still feel like venturing in? Here is the whole thing:
Obviously no society can tolerate within its own borders the existence of a way of liberation, a way of seeing through its institutions without feeling that such a way constitutes a threat to law and order.
Anybody who sees through the institutions of society and sees them for, as it were: created fictions in the same way as a novel or a work of art is a creative fiction.
Anybody who sees that, of course, could be regarded by the society is a potential menace.
In other words, you may put it in another way: one of the basic things which all social rules of convention conceal is what I would call the fundamental fellowship between ‘yes’ and ‘no’. As in the Chinese symbolism of the positive and the negative, the yang and the yin.
You know, you’ve seen that symbol of them together like two interlocked fishes.
Well, the great game – I mean the whole pretense of most societies – is that these two fishes are involved in a battle. As the ‘up’ fish and the ‘down’ fish, the ‘good’ fish and the ‘bad’ fish.
And they’re out for killing.
And the white fish, one of these days, is going to slay the black fish.
But when you see into it clearly, you realize that the white fish and the black fish go together. They’re twins, they’re really not fighting each other, they’re dancing with each other.
That, you see though, is a difficult thing to realize in a set of rules in which ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are the basic and formally opposed terms. When it is explicit in a set of rules that ‘yes’ and ‘no’, ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, are the fundamental principles, it is implicit but not explicit that there is this fundamental bondage or fellowship between the two.
But the theory is, you see, that if people find that out, they won’t play the game anymore.
I mean supposing a certain social group finds out that its enemy group which is supposed to fight is really symbiotic to them. That is to say the enemy group fosters the survival of the group by pruning its population.
Would never do to admit that.
Would never never do to admit – just as George Orwell pointed out in his fantasy of the future 1984 – that a dictatorial government has to have an enemy. And if there isn’t one, it has to invent one. And by this means …by having something to fight, you see… having something to compete against… the energy of society, to go on doing its job…
Is stirred up.
And what the Buddha or bodhisattva type of person fundamentally is, is one who has seen through that, who doesn’t have to be stirred up by hatred and fear and competition to go on with the game of life.
Does that resonate?
If it does, would it be possible to stave off the shrieking voices all around demanding you to consider the stakes and the necessity to choose and do what’s right, to consider:
What rights and freedom and political parties actually mean.
When they are sanctioned and governed by the ‘institutions’ most under threat, itself.
[To be specific, the institutions Watts is referring to are those which pose themselves — like ‘professional’ wrestlers — as ‘opponents’ while in fact achieving easily distinguishable outcomes that benefit one very distinct layer of society. That being the economic elite, and their political and military proxies.]
And, maybe, even further:
If you authentically want to be part of changing this country and this world in a way that fundamentally transforms the machinations of social agency and creates the opportunity to birth something entirely new and evolutionary…
Then, to question in a non-reactionary way: whether our place belongs within or without that superstructure.
And if without, then what that would actually look like.
And who you would be in that new paradigm.
The subject of countless songs, poems, books, and expressions, the soul is probably the most referenced and least understood aspect of the human experience.
Think of all you have ever read or been taught about the soul. What are some of the words that come to mind? Mysterious. Immortal. Ethereal. Spiritual. Individual. Subconscious. It evokes a sense of the unknown at the same time that it seemingly forms a direct part of our most core identity.
In his Red Book, Carl Jung recounted a journey toward his own recognition of the soul’s primacy, and as a driver for all that is experienced in the worldly world, writing:
I shall learn that my soul finally lies behind everything.
I too have come to the conclusion that the soul is the most critical component of this giant apparatus that directly connects us to the divine. But it was not an easy one to reach. For the soul is in many ways abstracted and hidden by the spectacular illusions of the physical plane. And, it is not something we are explicitly taught about in the realms of formal education, organized religion, and especially science.
As a cartographer of the collective unconscious, Jung had every assurance that he had attained a superior perspective – one that would eventually be classified as scientific – on the forces and archetypes that populate and condition the human psyche. But as he began his descent into his own personal madness, traced eternally for us in the Red Book, the scientist began to discover vast rifts between his objective observation and his mystical experience:
I thought and spoke much of the soul. I knew many learned words for her. I had judged her and turned her into a scientific object. I did not consider that my soul cannot be the object of my judgment and knowledge; much more are my judgment and knowledge the objects of my soul. Therefor the spirit of the depths forced me to speak to my soul, to call upon her as a living and self-existing being. I had to become aware that I had lost my soul.
Looking back at what he, and the greater part of the intellectual society, had identified and classified as the soul, Jung writes:
I had to accept that what I had previously called my soul was not at all my soul but a dead system.
Let’s remember that Jung was creating the Red Book in the shadow of the Scientific Revolution. The motto of the time was still owned by Descartes, who put everything on the saddle of cognition when he wrote I think, therefor I am. In this respect, the ‘soul mechanics’ that Jung was surfacing in his shamanic states put him at direct odds with the time. The idea of the soul as some cosmic portal burrowed deep in the biological architecture of man was unreconcilable.
No wonder he never wanted the Red Book published.
Before Jung began his own inward journey, he placed the soul as a mind-driven phenomenon as well. Though he did believe it was a real feature of the human condition. But once he entered that long night of his search for meaning beyond the physical realm, he discovered the transfiguring force of a thing that was part conjurer, part guru:
You took away where I thought to take hold, and you gave me where I did not expect anything and time and again you’ve brought about fate from new and unexpected quarters. Where I sowed, you robbed me of the Harvest, and where I did not sow, you gave me fruit a hundredfold. And time and again I lost the path and found it again where I would never have foreseen it. You upheld my belief when I was alone and near despair.
At every decisive moment you let me believe in myself.
For those who wholeheartedly decide to take up the path, the soul becomes our silent but unwaveringly patient guide into an experience that has no relation to the world most people inhabit. One in which we lose all interest and hunger for the rewards of this earthly plane:
He whose desire turns away from other things, reaches the place of the Soul. If he does not find the soul, the horror of emptiness will overcome him and fear will drive him with a whip lashing time again in a desperate and ever and a blind desire for the hollow things of the world.
He could find his soul and desire itself, but not in the objects of desire.
Jung had become the servant of his soul. But not as some penitent pilgrim under the sway of a commanding and judgmental Lord. Not at all. This realization was the most transcendent of all because he realized that he was, at the highest level of identity, the “expression and symbol of the Soul.”
For the mystical aspirant, the promise of this level of soul-integration is an invitation to initiation. As Jung discovered, it is a deeply isolating and wholly internal process; one that could not have been directed from something outside of his being.
The initiate knows this is true because it is your soul, itself, that is beckoning you. And testing you at the same time.
How hard is faith! If you take a step toward your soul, you will at first miss the meeting. You will believe that you have sunk into meaninglessness, into Eternal disorder. You’ll be right! Nothing will deliver you from disorder and meaninglessness, since this is the other half of the world.
And its the only half of the world that I now want to explore.
This is the second part of a series about Jung’s Red Book, the first of which is here.
And now, after we have long been on our way in this manner, we argonauts of the ideal, with more daring perhaps than is prudent, and have suffered shipwreck and damage often enough, but are, to repeat it, healthier than one likes to permit us, dangerously healthy, ever again healthy — it will seem to us as if, as a reward, we now confronted an as yet undiscovered country whose boundaries nobody has surveyed yet, something beyond all the lands and nooks of the ideals so far, a world so overrich in what is beautiful, strange, questionable, terrible, and divine that our curiosity as well as our craving to possess it has gotten beside itself — alas, now nothing will sate us any more!
Friedrich Nietzsche, Ecce Homo
“If we do not develop within ourselves this deeply rooted feeling that there is something higher than ourselves, we shall never find the strength to evolve to something higher.” – Rudolph Steiner, Knowledge of the Higher Worlds
Child prodigy, rebel icon, zen guru, Alan Watts was the philosopher king of the 60s counter-culture. At the age of seventeen, he experienced a mystical state which revealed the unity of spiritual and material worlds. And so began one of the most storied interior quests of the twentieth century.
During Watts’ lifetime his particular brand of wisdom pierced the conformist, Cold War society, appealing to the youth being drafted into a system they’d long stopped believing in. Besides leaving an indelible mark on the leaders of the Sixties social movements, his counsel was solicited by corporations and the Pentagon. In this sense, Alan Watts was the ultimate cultural double-agent: a mystical trickster, courted by the same institutional elites who were fighting to sustain a societal paradigm that Watts was encouraging his young devotees to reject and transcend.
His enduring message asks us to see reality in a different way; to understand ourselves as components of a cosmic Self; the implications of which are different for every person whose life he has touched. Unfazed by his own shadow, and the one cast by the social order, he introduced a kind of commentary that was both ancient and ultra modern, and delivered it with an authenticity prized in today’s millennial culture.
I spent a lot of time with Watts’ writing and recordings recently and transcribed many of them into my journals. Watts was without question, for me, one of the greatest mystical teachers of the 20th century. Here’s one of my favorite Watt’s riffs from a talk in the 60s:
To control the world is not really what we want to do.
So if all explanations have as their function enabling us to control things, then maybe an explanation isn’t what we wanted. And furthermore, we can very simply see, what makes things complicated is explaining them. When somebody explains to you how a flower works… everybody stands fascinated. “How complicated that is. How clever God must have been to create that flower… to have all the complexity going.”
It isn’t complicated at all.
It’s only complicated when you start thinking about it. Because the vehicle of words is a very clumsy one. And when you try to talk about the processes of nature, what is complicated is not the processes of nature, but trying to put them into words.
That’s as complicated as trying to drink up the ocean with a fork. It takes forever.
So this intense complexity that we see in everything is created by our attempt to analyze it all. And so what we do, when we analyze, we use our eyes and ears as scalpels. And we dissect everything. And we have to put a label on every piece we chop off. And so we scalpelize and we get it right down to atoms…
There is no end to the minuteness that you can unveil through physical investigation. For the simple reason that the investigation itself is what is chopping things into tiny little pieces. And the sharper you can sharpen your knife, the finer you can cut it. And the knife of the intellect is very sharp indeed. And with the sophisticated instruments that we can now make, there’s probably no limit to it.
But in a way, all that is vain knowledge. In a way. Because you see… what it does is it gives the illusion that you’ve solved your problems. When have controlled certain things and you have solved certain problems. Practical problems. You say “fine, more of that please. Let’s go on solving problems.” And you create a world of people as we are today who are far more comfortable than the ones who lived in the 19th century.
But the problem is that we keep running into this thing that all constant stimulations of consciousness become unconscious. And when we take it as a matter of course to have certain comforts, then we switch the level on which we worry. When we solve a whole set of problems, people find new ones to worry about. And after a while you begin to get that haven’t we been here before feeling. Because we don’t realize we’re chasing our own tails, by a constant recurring process of not knowing who we are.
That is hide and seek.
That is the nature of what the Hindus call manvantara and the pralaya. The period of the manvatnara when the worlds are manifested and the period of the pralaya when the worlds are withdrawn from manifestation. In and out, in and out.
Ever more came out through the same door as in I went.
And the thing is to get to the point where you can see that you are doing that in every moment of your existence, with every tiny little atom of your body. You, now at this minute, you see, are the whole system. Of inning and outing.
In other words, you often think perhaps… maybe a long long time ahead I shall reach the point where I wake up from manifestation and overcome the world illusion and discover that I am the Supreme Reality behind all this diversification. My friends, there is no diversification. In other words, what you call diversification is your game. In the same way as you chop the thing and say it is made of pieces. Because you forget that you cut it.
Mabel Collins, Light on the Path